Myself in the world

My fellow LJ-ers from my creative writing class have both posted something class-related today, so I feel like I should too. Yes, I’m jumping on a bandwagon! Yes I am!

I’ve realized lately that as extroverted as I can be sometimes, if left to my own devices, I get very comfortable in my own world. I get into this zone where I don’t reach out, don’t seek company, stay at home and just really get cozy in my little one-bedroom shell. This ability to be content in my solitary existence allowed me to live without a roommate for several years, and kept me from going completely insane in the isolating world of grad school. It’s a good little mechanism and I’m glad I’ve got it.

I always go back out into the world again, though, eventually. And thank goodness I do, because otherwise I’d just become a totally withdrawn person, the all-too-common grad student hermit. And whenever I do reach back out to those around me, I’m always so surprised and glad to find that people are really worth knowing and talking to. It sounds so weird to hear myself say this, but it’s true; I constantly forget how much communication affirms our humanity.

This has wandered quite a bit from my original “class-related” intention, but it is linked to it. I am really, really enjoying my creative writing class. It’s infinitely more delightful than last time. During the last course, with this same professor, two years ago, I was a first-year grad student, a first-year UCLA student, and a first-time creative writer, and exploring all these new territories at once made me very defensive and vulnerable. These days I feel a lot more secure in my footing as a writer and reader. I hadn’t realized I’d grown at all in those directions, but the two interim years of regular writing and reading critically seem to have done a lot for me. It’s pretty awesome, actually, to be able to feel how much I’ve learned and how much more capable I am. For all the other things I hate about grad school, at least I can say it’s given me this much.

Plus… I like my classmates, no one’s written a lousy story so far, and the professor cracks me up constantly. But constantly!

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at satsumabug.livejournal.com.]

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