This is the schedule I made on Day 3-4:
8-9 AM | Wake up | Open the curtains, get dressed/shower, quickly check emails/chat/texts for any news. Pee. Stretch. Make breakfast. |
9-10 AM | Breakfast & family time | If possible, check in with Erik about: mealtimes, daytime breaks. |
10-11 AM | “School” | Contact friends, do an activity, attend an online class. |
11-12 noon | Parallel work (Lisa & Owl) | Journal, digital stuff (NO social media or games), write letters or postcards to voters, check in with friends, stretching or fitness. I’m not allowed in my usual comfy chairs. |
12-1 PM | Lunch | |
1-2 PM | Puttering | Clean up from the morning, kitchen chores, Owl works on something. |
2-3 PM | Quiet time/”reset” | Quiet time, go for walk w/stroller (can do phone call with friend at this time), “resetting” activities |
3-4 PM | Snack & afternoon activity | Afternoon time w/Owl, go outside, exercise, etc. I’m not allowed on my usual comfy chairs. |
4-5 PM | Device time | Social media, games, stuff for Owl, Met Opera or other enriching entertainment. |
5-6 PM | Evening check-in. | Lisa and Erik make dinner, check in, and/or have a meeting. Devices off unless in active conversation or using for reference. |
6-7 PM | Dinner & family time | Devices off unless in active conversation or using for reference. |
7-8 PM | Erik & Owl time | Lisa can do something else, like check in with friends, write, read, brainstorm, etc. I’m not allowed in my usual comfy chairs. |
8-9 PM | Bedtime for Owl + kitchen cleanup. | No devices after 9 PM. |
9-10 PM | Bedtime / Lisa & Erik time | No devices after 9 PM. |
This schedule evolved very rapidly and as of Day 23, looks more or less like this.
7-8ish AM (sometimes stretches to 9-10 especially on weekends) | Lisa’s writing time. | Get dressed, quickly check email/texts, heat water, 1-2 songs of dance improv to wake the body. Eat breakfast while journaling. When Owl wakes, Erik feeds them breakfast and gets them dressed. Before Erik “leaves” for work, we check in about daytime breaks. |
Morning before 11 | Parallel work (Lisa & Owl) | Lisa finishes writing, checks emails/chat/texts/social media, does things that need doing on the laptop, maybe talks to Owl about the plan for the day. Owl makes art. Occasionally Lisa may take a live-streamed dance class in this time window. |
11 AM | “School” | Online circle time with preschool. Afterward, Owl plays freely or (more rarely) hangs out with Lisa. |
noonish | Lunch | If Erik is free during this time, Lisa may take a live-streamed yoga class and eat lunch later, or run solo errands that aren’t as feasible with Owl. |
After lunch/early afternoon | “School”/puttering | Online activity with preschool, or free play for Owl. Lisa catches up from morning things, connects with people, does housework, or rests as needed. |
Mid-to-late afternoon | Veg out | Lisa is tired and Owl is getting grumpier. We do what we need to. Lisa often ends up reading the news/social media and playing iPad games while Owl entertains themselves. “Resetting” activities are ideal at this time but rarely actually happen, because activation energy. |
Late afternoon to early evening | Cope | Sometimes we rally: outside time or walks, tidying or organizing, necessary planning and tasks, devise ideas for Owl. Sometimes we are grumpy and turn to our devices and noise-canceling headphones. |
5-6 PM | Evening check-in. | Lisa and Erik make dinner, check in, and/or have a meeting. Ideally, our devices are off, but we rarely actually align on this. |
Sometime between 6-7:30 | Dinner & family time (unless Lisa is attending a live-streamed dance or yoga class) | Devices off unless in active conversation or using for reference. (This is an ideal that is rarely achieved, but usually tried.) |
After dinner | Erik & Owl time | Lisa can do something else, like check in with friends, shower, write, veg out. |
Sometime between 8-10 | Bedtime for Ada + kitchen cleanup. | Ideally the non-bedtime parent (usually Lisa) is not just vegging out on devices. (This is rarely achieved.) |
Sometime between 9-10ish | Bedtime / Lisa & Erik time / kitchen cleanup | Sometimes we sit and chat. Sometimes we do housework and chat. Sometimes we ignore each other. |
Certain days also look very different because of scheduled activities on those days: calls with particular friends, yoga and dance classes, regular group check-ins with Meetup or writers, CSA/CSF pickup.
I also brainstormed a bunch of additional sections to this schedule: grounding activities and structured movement options for myself, enrichment activities and online resources for Owl, music and performance streams for myself, friends to check in with, possible family nature outings or activities. To my surprise, I have used these lists very little. My days are shockingly full and I have rarely needed to seek out anything more to add to a day!
