I had an interesting and lengthy conversation with Erik last night on the topic of dress, and more generally, self-presentation. This discussion got us through traffic in San Francisco’s Financial District, across the Bay Bridge, down through Oakland, all the way to San Jose and finally into my room and even bed.
It started when Erik mentioned that Mark Zuckerberg has been known to wear hoodies to investor meetings. I don’t need to get into it here, but this first part of the conversation touched on entitlement, creative rebellion, sexism, Silicon Valley corporate culture, and a whole slew of other topics, and if I remember right, it wound down around Broadway in Oakland.
By that time I’d gotten to talking about my feelings on self-presentation in general. On the superficial level, dress is about impressing people, about sending a message, and about competing with others. It is the human version of bird plumage, and like plumage, a lot of it is about sex and power. I think many people who dismiss fashion do so because they think that it begins and ends with that — and certainly, for some people, it does, but there’s more to it.
When I refer to dress, fashion, style, or appearance, what I really mean is self-presentation: a broader category that includes fashion and personal style but also grooming, posture, and comportment (a word you don’t see much anymore, but which refers to a combination of behavior and bearing). As an artist, my self-presentation is an extension of my creativity. As a woman, it is something I feel compelled to look after, because society tells me I must (and has socialized me to care). But were I not an artist, were I not female, I would still value self-presentation, and not just on the superficial level of wanting to look nice (or nicer than others).
The way I present myself is a gesture of respect. Like the wrapping of a gift (or the laying of a table), it has to do with thoughtfulness, with care. My self-presentation comes from my respect for myself, respect for others, respect for the occasion/environment, and — most nebulous and difficult to explain — respect for the integrity of the whole.
I wouldn’t say we should judge people by how they look, but neither do I believe it’s possible to avoid doing so. Our self-presentation speaks for us, regardless of whether we want it to — just as all of our actions speak for us, whether subtly or with the force of a whale breaching. Not everyone values openness the way I do, but because I do: when you read my writing, I want you to know who I am. When you see my drawings and paintings, you know who I am. And it’s the same with the way I dress, the way I move, my hair, my skin, the look on my face: this is who I am.*
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*Arguably, my writing, my artwork, and my appearance are not really who I am but who I want to be. That’s another thing about self-presentation: it’s aspirational. Is this a reason to condemn it? Should we not all exist in a state of nature? But then again, that is also who I am: someone who aspires, who creates, who experiments and plays, sometimes with success, sometimes without.
satsumabug.com | Lisa Hsia 
I wear costumes. Every time I get dressed, I am conscious of choosing a personality for the day.
You’re pretty cute, I say.
“With the force of a whale breaching” was brilliant.
Aw, thanks, Anna. 🙂 It doesn’t surprise me to think of you choosing costumes. Do you ever feel a disconnect between the costume personality and the way you’re reacting to things that day? Or does the costume let you get fully into character, so to speak?
For me, you nailed it with the word “respect”……respect for yourself and the vehicle God gave you to navigate this world, and respect for others with whom you come in contact each day. Your presentation is your gift to everyone you meet. And if you can have fun with it at the same time, so much the better! (And speaking of vehicles, many people take more care with how their cars look than they do with themselves. Go figure!)
Thanks, Sherry! I was also thinking, when I wrote this, about the difference between casual American (and especially Californian) style and the way we saw people dressed in other places. People’s style changes the character of their place, if enough people share the same aesthetic.
I love the 2003 picture! 😀
I found myself agreeing and disagreeing at different points. Let me elaborate. I am very much a fashionista as I’m sure you can attest to. I like to look good but sometimes it’s at the expense of my sanity. greeting the world in my usual manner (fashion statement Kuukua) is almost next to impossible in my manic depressive states. But because I know society has come to expect it and know it as me, I try to pull it together for them. What usually takes a few minutes in these times takes three hours or I dont leave the house at all. So sometimes i think “don’t judge a book by its cover” needs to be more of our motto. i agree with the talk about access, power, appeal, privilege…all of that allows one to not be judged by their “cover” also, i think of those who cannot/do not have the means to dress well…can we say they don’t respect themselves. (im thinking specifically of homeless people. anyway, just musings, not meant as antagonizing ya 🙂
btw, im glad we get to be in the same city in 2 weeks!
Thanks, my dear! In 2003 I was taking a 90-minute dance class every weekday and it showed in every way. I miss that but I don’t know if I’d be able to do it anymore. I’m glad I had photo evidence that it happened. 😉
Ooouf, you bring up so many good things. Thank you. I know I judge people by their self-presentation, in spite of constantly trying not to. That is the critical aesthete in me, the visual editor — and the snob as well. ;b But then, I am also partnered with someone who cares even less for appearance than I care for cars, which is saying something. Erik’s attitude to self-presentation drives me crazy, but probably also keeps me grounded. As your comment does too. 🙂
With homeless people, I give you a resounding hmmmm. I know decent clothes and even hygiene can be out of the reach of a lot of people. Then again, though, homelessness and nonattention to appearance don’t always go together. But I tend to think — and here I’m obviously coming from my own attitude particularly — a lack of attention to self-presentation, within one’s means, is an indicator that things aren’t right. Or… to avoid even as mildly judgmental word as “right”… it’s a sign that this person has so much going on their life, that trying to channel their sense of self into their physical appearance is not high on the list of priorities. For me, really, self-presentation is very holistic. So if someone’s self-presentation really seems neglected, I feel like that speaks to what’s going on with them in general.
I’m so pleased we’ll be in the same city soon too. It’s been too long and we’ve both been on crazy journeys since that dinner party in your living room!
This is very timely since I have an interview next week for a job I’m not sure I want. I don’t normally wear makeup, but when I teach a class, or like this, go on an interview, I put the paint on. And I wonder why our culture makes women feel that, to look professional, they have to hide behind paint. An Iraqi woman once told me American women have things backward. That we dress up and wear makeup for strangers, and not at home for our men. Compared to her culture, who cover for strangers and dress up for their specific man. My comment? Why should I dress up for a man, period? Luckily my husband doesn’t care if I wear makeup, and I have a teenage son who prefers girls who don’t wear it. And all of this ties right in with your whole post above. Interesting things to think about.
Hi Lisa! Ooh, I’m talking to someone else about job interviews right now too. 🙂 Good luck…? (Given that you’re not sure you want the job, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to wish you luck!)
You remind me of my encounter with the Chanel makeup lady at Bloomingdale’s a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to try some new products so she was putting a new “face” on me, and was telling me how much Erik was going to love it. I said he would not (he’s like your son, about girls who wear makeup). She said, “Men only think they don’t like makeup, but they really do.” I’m a polite person, but had to suppress the urge to make derisive noises and say, “Much you know.” I’m not sure I’d want a guy who’s so easily manipulated by face paint, anyway — who can be duped into liking it even when he thinks he doesn’t!
Very interesting about your Iraqi acquaintance’s attitude, too. I find that beauty is very much a cultural thing; I was fascinated at beauty standards and rituals everywhere we traveled. Although I don’t dress for my man either (possibly because he doesn’t seem to care whether I do), there is something very lovely about the idea of partners (of both genders, I hope) keeping something private/beautiful for each other only.
Forgot to mention, I love that black dress in the 2008 photo. Elegant and fun and simple all at once. Plus it looks like you could dress it up or down and looks comfortable. And it looks nice on you!
Thanks, Lisa! It is super comfortable — the only reason I don’t wear it more often is that it requires either dry cleaning or hand washing. ;b Recently I decided to try it with brown boots and that look seemed to work too.
ahh i have many thoughts on the subject, as you know, so i will leave you with just two:
1. i recently saw a quote that resonated with me because i had just been complaining to sean that i have “nothing to wear.” it goes: “when a woman says, ‘i have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘there’s nothing here for who i’m supposed to be today.'” YES. i can relate.
and 2. you are SOSOSO good at writing and articulating things! it’s what drew me to your blog long, looong ago, and still remains very true to this day 🙂
Hee. Yes I do well know! 🙂 And you’re one of the friends I can talk to, best, about this! I love that quote and I think it’s very appropriate. I would add after “who I’m supposed to be today”: “who I am now.” And thank you thank you for appreciating how I articulate things. I actually felt rather vulnerable about posting this, as I always do when I manage to put into words something that I feel strongly about. I trust my blog community, but I do always feel laid bare.
You are beautiful Lady, Lisa and fantastic artist! I love your post. It is so wisely written. I agree that ‘ self-presentation is an extension of creativity.’ Also it is an extension or expression of my femininity as well. Lovely photos. It is amazing how much you have changed with your personal expression. Much love to you
Oh thank you, Aga. 🙂 Much love to you too! I wish I could beam myself to Edinburgh for tea, a walk, and some drawing. 🙂 ❤
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❤ ❤ to you too, Munira! I've missed you!!