Weekend clock-out

Tonight’s moon journal: So much fog, drifting across the sky in the wind and haze from light pollution — desolate, lonely, slightly frightening, until a cloud shifted and I saw the waxing moon, the faintest highlight, as though seen through a thick grey curtain, and then suddenly the briefest of glimmers, then nothing.

Not a formal work day today, but I think I’ve pretty much decided to do away with that distinction… for now. My workdays and weekends have gotten so jumbled up lately, I’ve had to work where I could and rest when I needed to — and after some frustration, I’ve decided that this is a perfectly okay thing, so long as it functions for me. Yesterday afternoon we were driving down to San Jose and it was boiling hot, and I was so cranky because my work routine is always getting interrupted and interrupted, when I suddenly remembered Pema Chödrön’s remark that we suffer because we take what is impermanent for something changeless, and I realized that I have been relying too much on the illusion that I can have a “normal” routine day to day. The routine is well and good if it helps me work, but I shouldn’t think of it as this stable thing (by implication, one that would hold still and be reliable if only I got my act together and prevented all these naughty interruptions); instead, I should embrace the “work whenever I can, in the spaces between interruptions” schedule as the norm: always changing, always in transition. This was a bit difficult at first, but as I lean into the idea I find it liberating. As long as I’m resting and playing enough, I shouldn’t worry so much about interruptions — they will happen, and the more I can work around them, the less stress they’ll cause me.

I didn’t get much done over the weekend because of being in San Jose, but what I did do was very valuable. For one thing, Erik’s high school friend Anjali generously gave me many of her old silk saris, which are so lusciously beautiful I’ve been overwhelmedly thrilled with them since I received them yesterday afternoon. I can’t wait to start making things with them! For another thing, I came up with some great insights about writing and meditation, some good ideas to add to the syllabus, and a little bit of brainstorming for both crafting and my novel. Good times. I’ll work those into my day (and notes) tomorrow, since it’s past bedtime.

One more thing: I’ve decided on a changed format for my full-length workdays. I’ll write and draw in the mornings, and after lunch, I’ll craft. I’ll try this out tomorrow and see how it goes. Chores and cooking will just have to fall by the wayside — as is probably right.