Scary.

Jaycine [link broken] has written an account of the recent birth of her daughter, interspersed with her husband’s commentary. It sounds terrifying and excruciating. I’m really scared about it now. Screaming? Screaming is not good. I can’t even remember the last time I screamed about anything.

Also, it bothers me that men can’t go through this as well. Obviously, you say, but it bothers me not for just the obvious reason that the burden is unfairly on the woman. No, I actually feel this is unfair in some ways to the man (yeah, sure, it’d be fun to watch him suffer for nine months for the next kid, though). I would like parenting to be equal, but it doesn’t seem that equality is possible, when there’s this intense physical experience that a mother has and the father doesn’t. I wonder if this is the beginning of a sense of separation in some marriages–before the baby, it’s “just the two of us,” but after the baby, not only are there three people, but mother and child were until just recently one single physical unit. It seems sad and unfair.

So now I’m worried about both the physical and emotional sides to giving birth. I can’t even say anymore that I’m glad it’ll be years before I have to go through this–it’s not like it’s going to get any better by the time I’m thirty. In fact, it’s quite possible, biologically, that it would be easier now, since I am younger and closer to the age at which [female] humans have historically been giving birth. Eek. I want to curl up in a ball and vow to adopt (babies, kittens, puppies, whatever) instead!

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at satsumabug.livejournal.com.]

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