Jaycine [link broken] has written an account of the recent birth of her daughter, interspersed with her husband’s commentary. It sounds terrifying and excruciating. I’m really scared about it now. Screaming? Screaming is not good. I can’t even remember the last time I screamed about anything.

Also, it bothers me that men can’t go through this as well. Obviously, you say, but it bothers me not for just the obvious reason that the burden is unfairly on the woman. No, I actually feel this is unfair in some ways to the man (yeah, sure, it’d be fun to watch him suffer for nine months for the next kid, though). I would like parenting to be equal, but it doesn’t seem that equality is possible, when there’s this intense physical experience that a mother has and the father doesn’t. I wonder if this is the beginning of a sense of separation in some marriages–before the baby, it’s “just the two of us,” but after the baby, not only are there three people, but mother and child were until just recently one single physical unit. It seems sad and unfair.

So now I’m worried about both the physical and emotional sides to giving birth. I can’t even say anymore that I’m glad it’ll be years before I have to go through this–it’s not like it’s going to get any better by the time I’m thirty. In fact, it’s quite possible, biologically, that it would be easier now, since I am younger and closer to the age at which [female] humans have historically been giving birth. Eek. I want to curl up in a ball and vow to adopt (babies, kittens, puppies, whatever) instead!

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at]


5 responses to “Scary.

  1. cyn here

    hi lisa. =) i’m sorry my
    account scared you. it wasn’t
    so scary per se, only so in
    that it was an unknown experience.
    giving birth and the ability to
    do so is definitely *the* thing
    that separates men from women.
    it’s very clear how different we
    are when one is pregnant.
    some may say it’s a burden
    for the women, but yes, i would
    say it could be seen as a loss
    for the man.
    instead of thinking about
    how both sexes may lose in
    this situation, i would rather
    see it as a major win for both
    i never thought bringing a child
    into the world would be easy
    or took it lightly.
    it is an intense and overwhelming
    experience when you *want* it.
    but when a couple does decide
    to take the plunge, it is one
    of the most rewarding things
    for a relationship i can think of.
    no, it’s not *easy*, but neither
    is marriage, i would say.
    both take work and both reap
    great rewards.
    i look on my birth experience
    as a very positive one,
    definitely. =)

      • Re: Child birth

        I guess everyone has different experiences for being pregnant and giving birth. But it was one the most wonderful experiences in my life. To me, it is sacred to be able to bear children. No words can describe the joy of seeing your child for the first time after nine months of expectation.

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