Pandemic journal: Day 37

Sunday, April 19, 8:28 AM

Day 37 of voluntary social distancing, Day 34 of county shelter-in-place, Day 31 of statewide shelter-in-place

Theme of the week: You are here 

I’ve got an hour and a half until the Zoom mending circle I set up… I wonder if I should try to mend the ottoman? It’s a big job but it would be great to actually do it (or get partway through) because it irritates and worries me when Owl gets gingery and starts pulling stuffing out of it. It’s doable… it’ll just depend if I want to try and do a considered job or a quick, just-get-it-done one. I’m leaning toward the latter because I’m afraid it will never happen otherwise. 

I texted N yesterday, since it was the day we would have been leading a writing workshop together. I just said, I’m sending a hug and gratitude for what it would have been, and the enjoyment I received from anticipating it. 

My back is a bit stiff. Yesterday I got tired of eating so much salty and fatty food and not enough veg, and even though I made a dinner that didn’t exactly counteract that, it’s a step in the right direction. 

8:39 PM

I owe LL a message. What’s weird is I think about them many times a day, and enjoy every interaction we have online, and feel happy when I see their photos, and enjoy talking with them, but getting around to an actual reply somehow takes me forever (9 days since I last wrote). Is this how X feels about texting me? Every time I don’t hear from X I’m thinking “how could someone who cares about me just be so incommunicado right now” and yet I’m doing the exact same thing to L. I miss L when we don’t talk so I don’t know why the hell I don’t write, except that we talk about stuff that takes a bit of energy to access and I feel I need to muster up for that, even though usually, once I get started, I’m so glad I did. Anyway. Here I go thinking in circles around it again. I ought to get Owl ready for bed… And I ought to go there myself, I’m so tired!

Sending loving thoughts to everyone trying very hard right now to make home a haven.