Not relevant to the post, but today I visited our county library's annual giveaway of their discards. FREE BOOKS FOR ALL!!!
My July writing goal was to establish a daily practice, that’s all: I just had to write every day. Ideally I’d be working on serious writing projects, but any kind of writing would do. Fine — I accomplished that, by regular morning pages and revising this blog. This is not insignificant, and I was feeling very proud of myself for doing it.
A couple of days ago I was reading a time-management post by YA fantasy author Patricia Wrede, and I left a comment about how I’d carved out these two hours of writing time for myself every day with the pages and the blog. She responded that these things aren’t really writing: that is, if my goal is to be writing fiction (or anything, really), then these activities take away from my fiction-writing time; and so, though they look like writing, they’re not really helping my writing.
When I read Wrede’s reply to my comment, my first reaction was visceral, childish resentment. “She doesn’t know me, my journal is important to my writing, it’s my writing and no one else can say anything about it,” and so forth. Luckily, this defensive inner child lives with a wise adult with perspective. Yes, it’s true my pages give me a lot of insight, yes it’s true that blogging helps me creatively… but can’t it also be true that these things keep me from my “serious” writing time? Of course the answer to that is yes — just the way it’s true that going to yoga class keeps me from doing more cardio. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, but each one serves a different goal, and I have to make a choice between them. (Which is exactly what Wrede was saying in that entry.)
This frustrates me to no end!! I hate having to sacrifice one thing for another! I want it all! But that’s impossible, as I fretted in last month’s reprioritizing entry, and so, here I am faced with the same problem all over again. I’d thought the reprioritizing would smooth everything in my life, but it’s clear now that it was only the first step. It gave me time to do my two hours of blogging and journaling every day, but now the difficulty is figuring out where to find an additional two hours a day for fiction (or whatever). And for painting, and for exercising, and so forth… I want to cry (or bang my head against the wall) every time I think of it. It was hard enough doing the first round of sacrifices, and now I have to do it again. And will probably have to continue doing it all my life, given my tendency to take on more than I can handle.
Well, I am luckier than most. This is my day job, which is a privilege few artists have. If I do find a way to work 6 or 8 or 14 hours a day, I’ve got those hours. And I’ve just begun a new fiction project that I suspect will help me to think more deeply about commitment and focus, so that’s promising. I’ll share an excerpt tomorrow in Friday Open Mic, along with a thoughtful, honest featured piece by Lisa Fisher! See you then!
satsumabug.com | Lisa Hsia 
As you know I am fairly new to your blog, Lisa. I greatly enjoy reading it and following your creative journey. But I have to say, I have wondered how you can do it all, and do it as well as your perfectionist nature requires. Balance is not easy. It may take far longer than you would like, but I know you will figure it out. Here’s a question for you: suppose you did have an 8-5 day job (or even a part-time job) — what would you have to eliminate to do that thing that you love best while still maintaining a healthy life style? Just asking…..
It’s a good question, Sherry, and one that I plan to think on in the next few days! I often look at people with day jobs (or kids) and wonder how they manage. It’ll be good mental exercise to put myself in their position and think seriously about what I can eliminate.
Balancing is hard, Lisa. I don’t think you have to sacrifice all your journaling and blogging, perhaps just do it a little bit less and only if YOU feel like it’s right for you. Is it possible that if you just let yourself do whatever writing you want for two hours that eventually the time for “serious” writing will present itself. I LOVE to exercise and I used to exercise up to three times a day. Once I got married and got the animals I knew I was going to have to cut back because exercising took up so much of my time. The solution that eventually presented itself was to tell myself that weight lifting was only “available” to me on Tuesdays and Thursdays, walking machine on Wednesday, Fridays and Saturdays and dog walking any day except Sunday. If for some reason I missed a weight lifting day, I didnt try to make up for it I just tried to grab it the next time it became “available”. I know it’s hard but I know you can find a solution that is comfortable and nourishing for you. You’ve made it this far and it is unavoidable that it is going to get better because you have the talent and the ambition!
Thank you for the support, Lisa! 🙂 I like your attitude of activities only being “available” to you at certain times, and if you don’t get to them then, no guilt, no shame.
I’m trying something today in which I’m taking 8 hours (not included a half-hour lunch break) to just work, as if this really were a normal day job and I had a boss looking over my shoulder. No cooking or cleaning or exercise inside those 8 hours. We’ll see how well it works out. I’m doing it because I always say I should be able to get more than a few hours’ work done in a day. And I’m limiting my email/internet time within those 8 hours to 30 minutes!!
Excellent! Most everthing I’ve read about writers is that they have to treat their craft like a job they go to every day. Or they set themselves a goal of writing so many pages. If you write your five pages in an hour, that is your day. If it takes you all day to get your five pages…well, that’s the way it goes. Have fun experimenting with different things and see what works for you.
The hardest part about writing is definitely just doing it. I’ve trained myself now to write in my journal or on the blog, but writing fiction (or nonfiction that’s not journal-y) is still tough. It’s like every time I sit down to do it, I have to fight the fear of not producing anything good. Which is not even something I should be thinking about until later!!
I find that an hour to two hours of serious writing (not journaling) is about all I can manage each day. Today I did about two and a half and now I’m even having trouble sending emails, I’m so writing-fatigued!
It’s surprising how regimentation (like your 8 hour day) works to really enforce productivity…paradoxically it gives us more time. Makes the little things work around the really big, important things.
I saw an illustration of this on tv once–it was kind of silly image, but I remembered it: they took a bunch of marbles and a few big rocks. They put all the marbles in a jar, and then put the rocks on top of that: of course, the rocks couldn’t fit and they were sticking out of the jar. Then they put the rocks in first and then the marbles, which fell in loosely around the rocks. This time, everything fit. 🙂
Balance, still, and priorities–perpetual problems. Tell us how the 8 hour thing works out!!
Bright, I totally love your rocks-marbles-jar image. I’m going to quote it when I write a post about today’s 8-hour attempt… can’t do it now because I’m too exhausted after writing a lot earlier. ;b
I mentioned the image to Erik and he pointed out that taking a hammer to the rocks helps a lot too. Tru dat.
religious teachings LOVE to use that rock/marble image. only they use a rock/pebble/sand image…
How does that work with religion? The sand thing sounds vaguely familiar.
there are different versions but the basic idea remains the same: rocks = big important things in life that you should always put first (god, family, health, etc.), pebbles = “lesser” important things (like job, car, house, whatever), sand = the “small stuff.” then they go onto say something about how if you put sand and pebbles first you won’t have time/room for the really important rocks, etc.etc. so yea, basically same thing! (& why do i know this? i have years of weekly catholic class to thank! *rolls eyes* heh 😛 )
I seem to vaguely remember now that you went to these classes. 🙂 I guess they wouldn’t approve of Erik’s addition to the metaphor that breaking the rocks makes them easier to fit in. ;b
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