I was all set to make a drawing for my first Monday Art Day on my revamped art blog, but we just spent four hours going to and from the vet hospital and waiting for Tisha’s bandages to be changed, and now I’m can’t concentrate. While we were in Concord the oncologist caught us and told us the biopsy results came back, and Tisha has squamous cell carcinoma. (It just sounds evil, doesn’t it? And FYI, the photos on the link are not pretty.) So it is cancer after all. I can’t say I am surprised. There are some treatment options, but it seems like the best possible prognosis is about 8-9 months, and the doctor told us Tisha has already outlived his usual sans-treatment prognosis of 3-4 months. At any rate it’s best not to start treatment until after the current surgery wound heals, which may take 2-3 more weeks. So there’s nothing to do for now.
It’s a grim outlook, but aside from distracting me from my art-making, it has strangely little effect on my mood. I still feel so grateful Tisha was spared to us last week… we were prepared for him to die then, so the fact that he still lives is everything I could want. He’s with us now and he’s as happy as anyone with a giant healing wound in his neck can possibly be. We spend as much time with him as possible, and he purrs to show us he likes it, and that’s that. Our goal for the remainder of his life will be to give him as many and as comfortable days as possible. If that means radiation, we’ll try that; if that means foregoing treatment so he can avoid any more car trips and meds, then an option too. It’s all about Tisha at this point. And we’re not going to worry about it until after he’s recovered from the surgery.
But you probably know, even when you declare fervently that you’re not going to think about something, you still do; even when you make a decision, it’s still not over. Your brain still mulls over things underneath your conscious thoughts, and that affects you. That’s why I’m writing here right now instead of drawing.