I am so tired. I feel like I could go to bed right now. Like, right here, at my desk. I think the general hectic-ness of my life is just getting to me. This evening I began to get that by-now-familiar feeling of rolling eyes and chaotic thoughts. I made a clutter/life chart once while I was in grad school and it still more or less holds true. Current state of house: a mess and plenty of dirty dishes, but no dirty laundry. What does the chart say? “Just finished with lots of deadlines, but haven’t had time or energy yet to clean up.” I guess that’s true, but the chart needs updating. Now that my deadlines are self-imposed and routine, every week contains many deadlines… which I suppose indicates that I have good reason to be tired, because deadlines do take time and sap my energy.
I feel I’m writing horribly tonight, but I really am about to keel over.
This is how you can tell I’ve been busy this week (this should be accompanied by some kind of ominous and/or informational-bullet-point sound for each numeral):
- The mail. When I’m not overly busy, the mail gets opened that same day. When I’m busy but not insanely so, I open the most important mail, and the rest goes on my writing desk, unopened. But this week, the unopened mail is on my computer desk, indicating that when the mail’s come in I haven’t even bothered to get up from the computer to go put it on the writing desk. Also…
- My writing desk. When I’m keeping up with things very well, the desk is clear and ready for work. When I’m fairly busy, there are clearly distinguishable project-related piles on the desk. This week, the desk is completely covered with books, fabrics, notions, mail, giftwrapping supplies, restaurant menus, and coupons… which might be another reason the unopened mail currently resides on my computer desk.
- The groceries and/or travel bags. I’m slightly embarrassed to say that a very simple, easy measure of how busy I am is the presence of half-unpacked grocery and travel bags around the house. Yes. This is how bad it gets. When I’m having a week like this one, if I *must* go out for groceries, when I get home, I put away what’s perishable and everything else just kind of sits out until I need it. *hides face in hands* This really is very embarrassing.
However, as my 2005 chart indicates, things haven’t gotten to the wholly desperate stage just yet, because there’s no dirty laundry lying around. I don’t know why it is, but I just can’t stand not putting laundry in the hamper. I’ll let the dishes crust in the sink and all other manner of household evils, but laundry goes in the hamper. So. Things aren’t hopeless yet.
I was reading Peter Walsh earlier and he made me realize how badly I need to reorganize. Over the years, I’ve developed all kinds of systems for keeping my life sane, but I have not done a good overhaul of these systems since I started regularly crafting, and it’s beginning to show. My Etsy inventory and packaging supplies are stored haphazardly and inconveniently. Bookkeeping involves entering items into four different forms, which is such a highly evolved form of inefficiency, I can only marvel. I’m just barely managing my time; meanwhile, attending to the myriad activities involved in having a shop (research, marketing, development, administration, accounting, production, and so forth) makes me feel kind of crazy even when I really am on top of things. So, before I dig myself deeper into this hole, I’d better sit down with my notebook and seriously think things out (ha, the last photo on today’s listing beckons!!). How can I organize my business in such a way that it no longer takes over my space and my thoughts? How can my organizational systems help clear my thoughts as well as my clutter? It’s going to be a challenge — and I don’t know when I’ll have the chance to get to this — but reorganization is vital, I can see that now.
Well, on to today’s clock-out, and let’s make it short so I can go to bed: finished yoga mat tote, morning pages, prepared my biggest Etsy order to date, beautiful Upeksha yoga class at Bridges, dumplings and reading Peter Walsh at Sichuan Fusion (teehee! the banner at the top of the page says “Shopping. Dining. Pretty Life.”), bank, picked up CSA box, photographed tote and listed it on Etsy, returned books to library… umm… is that it? Argh. ‘Fraid so. It’s not very much nor very satisfying.
Well, tomorrow’s a new day and going to be another busy one. Let’s see if I can find time to tidy and reorganize in the midst of all my other activities.