Yesterday we got our signed lease back from the landlords, so we now feel confident that things have gone through with the house and it’s not all a scam. I didn’t get any art done yesterday at all, not even my morning pages, not even a little doodle somewhere. I played a lot of Westward III, but I also had a wonderful yoga class in the morning, cooked three dishes in the afternoon, washed some dishes, read or skimmed some books, and filled out a ton of change-of-address forms in the evening. A reasonably productive day in the normal sense, but not in my own mind.
I know it’s been established that we have limited willpower, and I guess it makes sense that motivation would be tied to that. I’m so caught up in moving right now — packing and choosing what not to pack, planning the move, and dreaming of our new life — that I feel like it’s hard to get enthusiastic about anything else, and near-impossible to actually sit down and focus on something else for a prolonged period of time. I suppose the fact that moving is itself sort of a scattered process exacerbates my motivation problem, because doing all these different tasks at once makes it even harder for me to focus.
The big problem is that this moving business will not be over for at least a month, and even then it’s likely to simply be replaced by the business of settling in. I have a (self-imposed) deadline on 14 Feb, for my Valentine’s Day card, and even more than that, I’d just like to be working on my art every day. I guess typing this out has reminded me that this is a mental problem, and as such, it has a mental solution: just renew my commitment to creating every day, and remind myself of what’s at stake whenever I feel myself losing focus.
I’m an organized, responsible person; the moving will get done. The art is what takes real concentration, and it’s what I really want, so I’d better make it my first priority.