I miss writing. And drawing. And feeling productive.
Why does it always happen like this?! I spend hours or days moaning and moping over not being able to get myself together enough to focus and work on something — in this case, either schoolwork, a short story, or a drawing. Then all of a sudden in the eleventh hour, inspiration strikes, or my energy renews itself, and I’m all ready to go. Too late. It happens all the time when I’ve been procrastinating on an assignment, but it also happens when I’m just doing nothing, as I have been all this week (errands and apartment-cleaning yes, but focused sit-down projects, no). I was so zoned and bored all day today, well after my morning errands anyway (which were admittedly efficient and productive), that I went upstairs and bothered poor Jason for at least an hour and then dragged him out to dinner with me. And now I’m falling-over sleepy and it’s nearly midnight and I have my first class tomorrow, and within the past hour I’ve just fired off several emails that have been on my to-do list since Monday and now I’m writing an entry here, which I’ve been meaning to do for two weeks.
Why??
Just to torment myself further, here are the things I meant to do “before school started” that I still have yet to complete:
1. Write a journal entry about our cruise.
2. Post pictures from the cruise. Oh wait, I actually did that today.
3. Run sooo many errands.
4. Write and draw.
Hmm. Actually, that’s about it. But there are quite a lot of errands, and a lot of creative work, all of which take much energy. Since I’ve been back from the cruise I’ve been unusually relaxed and content, extraordinarily able to live in the moment… but not, apparently, very capable of doing anything that extends beyond the moment.* So I’ve had trouble mustering up the energy to venture out into traffic for most of these errands, or sit down at my desk for more than half an hour at a time to really make a dent in my various projects. Bah. This must stop.
This weekend’s trip home for Shra’s birthday should help shake me out of my complacency and get back into things. Also: I should get my new camera next week, and then there will be PHOTO BLOGS again! Huzzah!
Okay so sleepy must go to bed.
*Oh but this is not entirely a bad thing. Remark: miracle of miracles, the cruise has weaned me from the computer. YES INDEED. I now spend less than half of any given day sitting at HANNES, often less still than that. I have not gotten a single computer headache since we have returned. Not one. At this very moment, a flock of small pigs soars joyfully above the Sea of Cortés.
[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at satsumabug.livejournal.com.]
satsumabug.com | Lisa Hsia 