A look into my day and my thoughts…

… centered around Things That Made Me Happy (numbers) and Things That Made Me Not Happy (letters).

Woke up and felt bright and cheerful, but it was earlier than I needed to get up, so I went back to sleep. Woke up again much later, much less cheerful, and now it was later than I needed to get up.(A) Showered. Fried an egg for breakfast.(1) Made a lovely sandwich and packed it for my lunch: white bread, sliced sweet Hawaiian onion, veggie ham, smoked Gouda, avocado, mayonnaise.(2) Left the apartment and across-the-hall Lisa’s cat Jack meowed at me from the window. I said hello to him and he meowed back, and we had a little conversation. Kept going down the sidewalk, and the other neighborhood cat I know, Emmitt, was sitting on the steps. Said hello to Emmitt, and when he heard his name, he came down and greeted me.(3) Traffic on the way to campus. Listened to Triplets of Belleville soundtrack and pretended pedestrians’ movements were choreographed to the pieces. Amused me very much.(4)

Got to dance class late.(B) We did a really cool warmup.(5) I dreamed about movement two nights ago. It’s like when you’re learning a new language, and then when you dream in it, you feel like you’ve really internalized it. I’m learning the language of my particular body. Very hippie, but it feels amazing. Taisha singled me out to show the class how to do a figure-eight movement we’re practicing. I did it wrong.(C) She showed me how to do it right. Next time we tried it, I did it right, and it felt awesome.(6) I’m one of the more experienced modern dancers in my class, though not the most experienced dancer, which gives me this weird only-partially-deserved edge over most of my classmates. I never know whether this makes them look at me with respect or with resentment. I felt that today, that confused how-do-they-perceive-me, when everyone was watching me do the figure-eight.(D) I used to look at the “good dancers” in my classes with admiration, but that’s because I thought they were so far beyond my own ability. It’s out of my comprehension to imagine what other people think when they look at me.

Post-dance, very hungry. Looked in my backpack. Realized I forgot my lovely sandwich at home.(E) Fortunately, I’m not broke right now, so all I had to do was get some money out and go buy a lunch. Spicy Shrimp Roll. Ate, read over some dissertation abstracts, then went to talk to Jan. She listened to my project proposal ideas, thumbs-upped them and gave me some more cool ideas, and then told me funny stories about her own experiences with food.(7) She also commiserated on my post-engagement woes.(8)

When I left Jan’s office, Sasha was outside. Pausing to wait for me? He said “I thought I recognized that laugh,”(9) and we talked a bit in the elevator.

Afternoon, on-campus
Christen and Precious and I are the martyred grad students amidst 170 undergrads in the class we grade for.(10) We had a guest lecturer in class today!(11) His name was Axel Jansen (not sure on spelling) and he is visiting from… Frankfurt I think? He was young and pleasantly nerdy-looking (as opposed to hideously nerdy-looking) and he had the coolest accent ever.(12) Christen thought he sounded like a muppet. Really, he sounded more like this guy, but less exaggerated and with less aspiration (breathiness). He said “chap.” It made us happy.

I am worried we might have graded too hard on the last paper.(F) I don’t like feeling the weight of my responsibility. Poo.

Still hungry. Dropped by Valerie’s office hours and she gave me orange Milanos.(13) Then I went to the vending machines and thought about getting something unhealthy, but then saw they had dried mango slices.(14) Ate them on the way out to my car and they were good!(15)

Afternoon, off-campus
Listened to Triplets of Belleville soundtrack again.(16) Stopped at Trader Joe’s and bought soap, more dried mangoes, dried pineapple, salmon jerky, heavy cream for the icing of the cake I’m baking tonight for my cohort. Ate peppery-salty salmon jerky and sweet dried mangoes on the way home.(17) Got home and found my Body Time package waiting for me!(18)

Took shower with pretty afternoon light coming through the bathroom window.(19) Used my new soap from Trader Joe’s, and my new shampoo and face wash from Body Time.(20) They all work great.(21)

Washed some dishes and baked the cake. The batter looks promising.(22)

Predictions for the rest of the evening
Finish the cake.(23)
Have some dinner.(24)
Finish reading a book for class tomorrow.(G)
Write a review on the book.(H)
Do some other work.(I)
Talk to Erik on the phone.(25)

Things That Made Me Happy Things That Made Me Not Happy
1. Actual breakfast, and an egg.
2. A tasty sandwich, and some lunch money saved.
3. A two-kitty morning–surely a good omen.
4. Soundtrack to life.
5. Taisha’s class is really teaching me to understand how my own body moves.
6. Feeling like I’m dancing, and not merely doing exercises!
7. I love hearing people’s food stories.
8. Jan is nice.
9. Sasha recognized my laugh!
10. Hanging out with Christen and Precious.
11. Routine shaken up!
12. Axel’s accent.
13. Cookies when I needed some sustenance.
14. Avoiding junk food.
15. Tasty dried mangoes.
16. Quirky music, remembering a favorite movie and the people I saw it with.
17. A tasty food combination.
18. Surprise package! That was really fast. I ordered my stuff on Friday.
19. Good light.
20. Trying new things and feeling pampered.
21. Money well spent.
22. Pleasing batter.
23. Baking, and especially baking for my cohort.
24. Dinner!
25. Erik 🙂
A. Woke up already out of sorts.
B. I don’t like being late, though (or because) I’m late all the time.
C. Felt conspicuous.
D. Don’t like not having a good sense of how people perceive me, and don’t like that I’m bothered by this.
E. Wasted sandwich! Wasted effort! Wasted money! Hungry!
F. Uneasiness about grading.
G. Reading while sleepy.
H. Writing while sleepy.
I. Want the quarter to hurry up and end, but not looking forward to all the work I have to do before that happens.

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at satsumabug.livejournal.com.]