For the future

I’ve noticed that as many people get older, their behavior changes. Whether this is because they no longer have to please bosses, embarrassed teenagers, and society, or whether they simply do not care anymore, I don’t know. What seems to happen is that people’s habits get magnified, usually not for the better: people who used to be a little sensitive now become downright paranoid, people who used to take a lively interest in those around them now just gossip all the time…

With that in mind, I make this prediction for my own older self.
Having become tired of trying to figure out annoying, rude or thoughtless people, I will withdraw more and more until I never leave the house except to get fresh air. However, convinced that my life has been productive and important, ego will go to my head and I will become almost unbearably conceited when younger people ask me anything about my past. I will talk their heads off and they will try to get away but since I am old and need to be shown some deference, they won’t be able to escape. But that’s okay because I will be a better baker than ever and I will fill all my guests with luscious cookies and cakes and pastries, so that they will endure my prattling. I will mind none of this because my old friends will live close to me and we will all sit in the sunshine and reminisce together and eat cookies and be happy.

Or, here is an alternate prediction for my future in the context of the world at large.
No one will ever leave the house voluntarily because almost everything will be online and virtual. The rich will get richer while the poor get fatter (high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated soybean oil will take over the world). Gay parents (who may or may not be married, finally) and the new wave of stay-at-home moms, having fought for social acceptance, will cultivate meaningful relationships with their children, while everyone else will work for most of the day and let increasingly sex-and-violence-based TV raise the kids. Every buyable commodity will be manufactured, owned, and sold by a mere handful of international companies. Distressed and disillusioned, I will gather any of my friends and family who are sympathetic to my cause, and together we will escape to one of the three (one in CA, one in Alaska and one in Hawaii) unspoiled natural areas in the United States to start a commune.

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at]