A non-angry, non-ecstatic entry

Kiyomi’s recent entry made me think about how most of us only write when we are feeling extreme: angry, depressed, worried, elated. I’ve tried to escape that in my journal, but like everyone else, those emotions provoke the most thinkings. What I generally try to do on these less-than-extreme days is just write out what’s on my mind. Sometimes these entries turn out to be the most thoughtful. I think when there’s no pressure to write anything, and I’m unhampered by strong emotions, I’m able to think most clearly. Hmm. Having said that, I wonder if I should be devoting this valuable thinking time to my paper that’s due on Friday, instead of writing in my journal. Nah, I have the whole afternoon and evening. Er, I guess if you see me madly writing at three am on Thursday you’ll be able to point to this entry as the reason why.

I’ve noticed there’s been a real drop in blog entries recently. I guess this is cram time for most of us, what with the end of semester/quarter and finals and all, so people are too busy to write. I’ve been busy, too, perhaps less than some people, but still busy enough that I haven’t been able to keep in touch with some people (like my honorary roommate Jennifer) as much as I used to, or do fun things, like make fonts (though I’ve designed some on paper, during lectures). Being this busy is new to me (hate me for it if you must), and it’s a weird feeling. I usually have enough time in the day to think about my day and my week and how my life is going, and about other people in my life and how their lives are going, so not having that opportunity makes me feel like time just slips by without my noticing. Well, “time” in general passes quickly, but it always seems like yesterday was a long time ago. The days feel really long when there’s so much packed into them.

I’m not sure why I feel so busy. I guess the constant pressure of grad school apps (sent out two of them last night, excited!) makes it so that I always have something to be working on, and now that I have work, I don’t have those long stretches of me time in the middle of the day anymore. Actually, I find that this keeps me productive because I never have a chance to rest. But I guess it’s a big part of why I feel like I don’t have time to think anymore. Maybe it’s true that now that I work, there is some time that used to be mine that isn’t mine anymore.

It has been a long time since I wrote an entry on the web instead of using a client, and now I can’t tell how long my entry is, or whether I’m being too rambly. Maybe I’ll stop here for now.

One more thing: Now that dance class is finished until January (sniff), I’ve forked over the $105 for a yoga pass and plan to go every day. My relationship to yoga is different now that I’ve spent a semester dancing. I haven’t decided yet whether I like the change (another consequence of not having time to think!), but I am pleased with the changes in my body, and how much stronger and more flexible it is.

[This post was imported on 4/10/14 from my old blog at satsumabug.livejournal.com.]

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2 responses to “A non-angry, non-ecstatic entry

  1. hehe

    like gumby!!!

    and yes. less time less talk less sleep less coherent thought less talk. yippee!!!

    ~you know who

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