I made a to-do list today, and I actually got through every item on it except for a single errand. I did the quickest actions first, then the slightly longer ones, until all that was left was “call vet” and “work on writing sample for an hour.” (And the fact that I wrote before calling the vet just goes to show how much I hate making phone calls.) I procrastinated like crazy on the writing, but I finally did sit down and do that hour of revision. I’m happy with what I did, but it’s still not a very good story, and I’m not sure I can do much more to it before I send it out tomorrow or Sunday. I just can’t see it objectively anymore. Meh. That’s what I get for starting on this so close to the deadline.
I have such a fraught relationship with writing… writing is easy, writing is really easy, but revision — substantial revision — is hard. And real writing happens in revision. I have to admit, sometimes I doubt my capacity to be a writer just because I hate revising so much. It’s true, “killing my darlings” becomes easier with time, but it’s just so hard for me to look at something I’ve written and be able to see it freshly enough to reshape it into a different thing. I only see the original thing, and so, I can’t envision what it might become.
I once read an interview with Bharati Mukherjee, in which she explained that her usual m.o. while writing is never to revise, only to rewrite. That is to say, rather than going back over a draft and changing it, she starts a wholly new draft. It sounds like an incredible amount of work, and yet I see the value of her approach. With a new draft, one isn’t so fettered by what’s already on the page; it’s quite literally tabula rasa. I’ve always wanted to try attacking my own writing the same way, but as yet I’ve not had the time or dedication. Someday not too far distant, I hope!
Tired. It’s going to be a very busy weekend.
Oh — and on a crafting note, there’s a truly delightful piece in the WSJ about a crafting trend among truckers. It’s very sweet and inspiring!
satsumabug.com | Lisa Hsia 
One of my design clients does a writing presentation for younger students, and the main emphasis of the piece is revisions, revisions, revisions. Ugh. I hear you, though. I’ve never liked going back and revising my writing…or really anything that I’ve created, come to think of it. There’s something about returning to “old” work that seems boring to me, but maybe that’s because I have such a difficult time living in the moment, rather than always skipping a few steps ahead in anticipation of “better,” more exciting things.
I’m very future-oriented too! I’m always looking forward rather than enjoying the moment. I guess it comes with being really OCD about the things I’m working on. ;b
When I was TAing writing courses for undergrads, one of the biggest things we had to get through our students’ heads was that the paper you dash out at midnight the night before the deadline is only a draft, and you really need to revise before it says what you want it to say. ;b Glad to know your client is spreading the revision gospel too!
It’s so hard! 😦