Last night, after reading through all 864 Girls with Slingshots, I realized that while my at-home creative work makes me feel very accomplished and happy, it does not make me feel sexy. Every morning I bunch my hair up into a quick, serviceable ponytail. I don’t wear my pajamas all day long anymore, but I’m still generally schlumpy in a hoodie, house slippers, and ill-fitting jeans.* More often than not, I could use a shower sooner than I actually take one. Since I don’t have a whole lot of long-sleeved tops, I’ve started rotating in workout and sleeping shirts too, and now my entire wardrobe just feels like one big set of body-shaped pieces of stretchy jersey. I spend my day moving from one chair to another, and if I move my body, I have to schedule it; there’s no built-in walk from one building to another or from my desk to my supervisor’s.
I was reading GWS and looking at all the cute drawings of curvy girls in tank tops, and it suddenly hit me that it’s been far too long since I myself felt like that. When I started TAing in 2005, I was careful not to wear anything remotely suggestive in front of my students; I took the same approach while working at the public library. I wanted to look mature and professional, and I didn’t want to draw attention to my curves. I guess that attitude just seeped into me until I didn’t notice it was there anymore. Sure, I’ve dressed up here and there, and I bought a corset last month, but that doesn’t feel like my normal life these days. Well, if a comic strip can make me feel bad about that, then I think I’ve got a problem.
Luckily, as of this year, I don’t have ideas, I take actions! Today, Bright and I went to a fabulously fun dance cardio class taught by an accomplished belly dancer (who spent the hour kicking our butts and telling us we were beautiful — winning combination!), and afterward I went to my favorite hairstylist, Sarah, and got my first haircut with her since 2007.**
I love it.
I still had to wear a raincoat and running shoes, but I’m feeling so much better already, having shaken my hips and taken off maybe four inches of boring hair. Here’s a “before” pic from a month ago:
I can’t say whether feeling like a gorgeous woman is going to make me any more productive, but who cares? There’s no call for a healthy under-30 to ever feel like a blob when there are good hairstylists and exercise and sparkly jewelry and fitted clothing in this world. When I get a chance, I’m going to experiment with some of these tees I’ve been wearing, see if I can take them in or add anything to them to make them feel a little less like “taking out the trash” clothes.
On the work side of things, no, I wasn’t that much more productive today than yesterday… but I did pack up all my trades (shockingly, this took an hour and a half… what?!) and ship them out. I also stopped by Crate & Barrel and used my $15 of settlement money to buy a half dozen clear plastic shoebox-sized bins, which I look forward to using in my craft supplies reorganization. (6 bins at $2.50 each + $15 gift certificate = I only had to pay $1.46. The woman behind the register said, “Good job!”) This was a very lucky thing for which I must thank David Allen yet again; I had totally forgotten about the $15 certificate and would have let it expire this Sunday if I hadn’t peeked through my coupon folder in yesterday’s weekly review!
I also — spurred on by feeling beautiful and by another action item I noticed in yesterday’s review — took some staged photos of myself for website-revamping purposes. I’m going to make a drawing of myself in pretty much this pose below, to use as a main image on the website… and that’s all I’m going to say for now. 🙂
Do you like how I’m writing on my “in” folder? ;b
And now, aside from feeling divinely beautiful, I also feel divinely hungry, so it’s off to dinner for me. 🙂
Notes
*The jeans fit great when I bought them, but no longer… I can’t tell whether it’s weight loss, gain, or just change of shape. Ah, hips and belly!
**I first met her when I was a sophomore at Berkeley. She’s given me some great cuts over the years. I only get my hair cut a few times a year, if even that, but Sarah always knows what to do with it!
satsumabug.com | Lisa Hsia 
Oh my god, I totally know what you mean. Aside from tutoring, volunteering, and yoga a few mornings a week–all of which have a dress code just slightly above couch wear–I’m pretty home bound, so I have the perennial schlumpy ponytail and pseudo pajama ensemble. I also stopped drinking awhile back, which makes going out to bars less of an exciting prospect, so I rarely have a reason to dress up. Perhaps I should forgo the reason and dress up just because! Thanks for the post. I think I needed a little push in the sexy direction 🙂
P.S. I LOVE your new haircut!!
Ooh, you’re welcome! Glad to know my “you’re a girl! be hot!” inspiration has helped someone else! 😀
I’m functionally allergic to alcohol, so I’ve never done the bar thing either — so “night on the town” for me, when it happens, means something like dinner + symphony, or dinner + play. I’m in excellent shape for becoming an elderly patron of the arts. 😉
ahhh yes the classic “all dressed up with nowhere to go… so i just won’t dress up instead” dilemma 😛 i’ve realized over the years how important it is to put some effort into one’s appearance even if there’s no big “event” going on. after living as a dirty techer for so long (think: infrequent showers, long nights in lab, no exercise, definitely no dressing up because profs/engineers look down on well-dressed women…) it became a really bad habit. now that i’ve started working i’m actually wearing contact lenses again (gasp!), wearing presentable office attire, wearing a little makeup (double gasp!), and wearing heels every day (TRIPLE EXTRA gasp!). i like the effect it has on me 🙂
speaking of haircuts… i haven’t had one in 2.5 years. i’m left with 2 feet of lank hair hanging off my head and no idea what to do about it (usually i hack it all off every couple years and donate it but i want to keep it long-ish this time around which would require growing it longer still before cutting… and it’s already getting out of hand. le sigh! oh the conundrum :P)
Eep, heels! Yes I am almost considering donating my heels because I have not worn them since we moved. 😐 They’re hard to walk in anyway. ;b
You should go to my hairstylist; she might have some ideas. 😉 Her own hair has always been super-long every time I’ve seen her!
i think the reason i’ve been able to wear these heels every day is because they’re shorter than my usual sky-high stiletto (just under 2.5inches or so) and they’re really comfortable and surprisingly easy to walk in. needless to say, i’m VERY pleased with them and already worrying about what i’m going to do when they wear out 😛 every day as i’m driving to work i perform a little calculation in my head: (cost of heels)/(# of times i’ve worn them) and then feel pleased with myself as the number steadily decreases 😀 😀 😀
for decades my mom has only let 1 guy cut her hair (DEVOTED) and for the last 7+ years he’s done mine too. my mom complains that i shouldn’t be allowed to get expensive haircuts like her but i argue that several inexpensive haircuts per year add up to more than my one expensive haircut every couple years 😛 she says she doesn’t know what she’ll do when he retires… but at least she got him for decades! what will i do?! he’s the only person who has ever been able to work with my stubborn wave. he’s the only one i’ll let touch my hair! hahaha i sound like one of those hollywood divas with their special stylist they fly out everywhere 😛
Hehe, and you get math practice that way too. 😉
That’s not Billy, is it? Your mom recommended him to us when we were in high school, but I don’t think he knew what to do with my hair or my best friend’s.
I’m all for the expensive haircuts too. 😉 But I’ve had stylists who charged a LOT and still weren’t good, so it’s not just about the cost!
ahhhhh NOT billy! hahaha. he’s not very good (although he’s cheaper and more local). back in the day i had to go to my mom’s hairdresser just to get my hair fixed after i let billy cut it =/
the guy who’s ACTUALLY good is a well-kept SF secret 🙂 i think she doesn’t tell people about him because she doesn’t want competition for appointments (hehe!) and also because in the past people just end up gaping at her when they find out how much it costs (it’s not actually that bad…). so she just keeps him to herself nowadays 🙂
Okay good, because I was preparing to be shocked if this fabulous stylist was actually Billy. 🙂
Hehe your mom is so funny. 🙂
Love the ‘do and the new bling! Can’t wait to see it on Sat! 😀
Dance and food! 😀
i forgot to tell you! your haircut is absolutely gorgeous! tres chic, amiga!
Gracias amiga! 🙂