This was a very bleh day for most of it, but I’m feeling much restored tonight after Bollywood dance, a good dinner, and some time with Erik (which we will shortly continue — going to try to turn off the computer and just hang out with each other from 9 PM from now on). Surprisingly, I was able to get a lot done in spite of my lethargic mood. I don’t know why.
Woke up and felt really out of it: skipped both Kimber’s class and my morning pages. Instead, I ironed, measured, and cut cotton fabrics to make napkins for a friend, and then stitched seven of them. I only realized after cutting the fabrics that I actually prefer bigger napkins, but now it’s too late; I selected the only fabrics I felt were suitable for her, and I’d cut them all to 13″ squares. I hope she won’t mind. They’re more portable this way, which may be a plus. You’d think making square napkins would be a breeze but it actually takes a little more time than I anticipated, because I have to press all the edges twice before stitching them. I’m sure there is some more elegant way to do the corners than what I did, but I’m afraid I don’t know what it is.
After the napkins, I cut some more 4.5″ squares and then made the flat pieces (the body before the sides are put on) for two new quilt-square bags, one in green tones and one in red. They look very rich and elegant, and I look forward to making linings for them and putting them together.
I’d like to send out a new newsletter for my shop quite soon, but I want to make more giftable items before then, particularly eye-pillow travel cases.
After the bags, I started feeling kind of desperate about my non-crafting pursuits, so I sat down and drew a partial self-portrait using the method I tried on Wednesday night. It came out not too badly. I’ll post a photo sometime — I won’t say tomorrow, since we’re hanging out with Dana all day then — and you’ll see.
Right before leaving for Bollywood Fusion I was feeling very cruddy, and had this conversation with Erik. I very much like his concept of the not-success-yeti. My feelings of failure are an insidious creature: a melodramatically black-hooded figure who slithers into the room and whispers in increasingly loud tones, “You’re a failure! In everything you do, you’re a failure!” There’s not much I can do against this creature who stealthily builds up my self-doubt every time he stops by. But in re-characterizing my feelings as not-success-yet, Erik makes them much more comical and non-threatening: a goofy, dancing, cartoony monster who calls out, “Not success yet! Not success yet!” What’s that all about? It’s not even grammatically complete! I can shrug that cry off, can bat that monster away easily: “Get out of here! You’re just a distraction! ‘Not success yet’? Who cares! I’ll get there eventually!”
I’m reading Peter Walsh‘s book on clearing mental clutter, and there’s a very good chapter about work. He has a work questionnaire and I answered blithely in the affirmative on whether my work is fulfilling and good for my long-term career goals, but I was more iffy on work-life balance and workspace organization. So I’m going to go through that chapter more carefully later, and will put his suggestions into action to eliminate my mental clutter and stop my work from doing weird things to the rest of my life!
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