Feeling better

It’s half an hour before my normal bedtime, and here I am having my dinner… which is basically carbs, salt, and sugar. With some sesame seeds thrown in! 😉 I am sooooo tired. I was fine until about 20 minutes ago, and then suddenly my legs seemed to want to give out under me. Well, that’s what I get for coming off about two weeks of barely any exercise with today’s schedule: Kimber’s 90-minute yoga class this morning, Bollywood Fusion dance class in the evening, and walking all over Berkeley in between (my pedometer says 8.09 miles). I think I’ll take a recovery day tomorrow, and then I have a 3-hour yoga workshop in SF with Rochelle on Sunday. I plan to make myself a yoga mat bag before then. Yay! 🙂

You can tell from my tone I’m feeling way better than yesterday. As I wrote in my previous entry, yesterday, I knew I wasn’t a failure but I felt like one anyway. Today, I know I still have problems that need resolution (the issue of writing/drawing/crafting balance is only getting more complicated!), but I’m feeling happier regardless. Could be all the exercise and fresh air, could be all the delicious food I had all day (Tulsi tea, steel-cut oats and pasture-raised eggs for breakfast, vegan Japanese food for lunch, pumpkin spice cupcakes before dance, and a Chinese custard bun afterward… I think my body appreciated these refined-sugar/flour snackies today!), could be the time spent with Bright and Erik, could be that a member of an artists’ cooperative was very nice to me, could be that one of the ladies at Sala Berkeley confirmed her interest in maybe carrying some of my goods at her shop (nothing definite yet, but even the expression of interest is gratifying!), could be spending time today on a campus I love, could be running into one of my former professors and having him remember me, could be talking to Al on the phone, could be positive messages via my various blogs and profiles, could be receiving my awesome new felted black cat hat from Fiberpuppy… or it could just be hormones, blood-sugar levels, the phase of the moon, or goodness knows what else. Anyway, I am tremendously grateful and relieved to be out of my funk. It’s not so fun, feeling crummy and knowing I have no cause.

Looking forward to getting some work done this weekend. For most people a working weekend sounds like a punishment; for me, it’s a welcome event, especially after a week like I’ve had. Last month I was at the pharmacy and the pharmacy manager, with whom I have a conversational relationship, asked me what I do for fun. I think I just stared at him blankly. My work is what I do for fun. Sure, maybe I could go out a little more, but I love everything I spend my time doing, and it’s a luxury and a gift to be able to live this way. And thank god, finally, today I can say that and mean it wholeheartedly once again.