Ups and downs

Almost forgot to clock out tonight.

Today started okay, with morning pages and a decision to spend the day doing household foundation work: laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. Well, that didn’t quite happen, but it happened more than it has for the past couple of weeks, so that’s something. Had a walk, went to the library, sent out my first Satsumabug newsletter (let me know if you want to be added to the email list!), took photos of fabrics for the cash apron I’m making for Mousemarket‘s first craft fair, had a fun singing lesson (“Dream a Little Dream of Me”), posted yesterday’s sketches (see previous entry), read through lots and lots of business advice, and then suddenly, this evening, got into a terrible funk and whinged abominably at Erik all through dinner. I just felt like a total failure at everything, and yes, I know that’s ridiculous, but sometimes knowledge is not power… I almost burst into tears when I realized, at 7 PM, that while putting away breakfast food at 9 AM, I’d put the brown sugar into the fridge instead of the pantry, and my leftover cooked hot cereal into the pantry instead of the fridge. What a ludicrous oversight! And that spelt had taken two hours to cook, the day before. This is how distracted I’ve been! I’m sure I have been utterly dreadful company all week, but as usual, Erik bears up with encouragement and smiles. Sometimes I am really not a cheerful helpful person, and it constantly shocks me to observe just how far I can vacillate between perky and glum, just in one day. It’s probably all related to blood sugar level or something.

After dinner, I tried out another unsuccessful email-newsletter-creating program, read some more business advice, and baked vegan brownies to lift my spirits. (Too much sugar, which I suspected while I was mixing the batter. But the brownies did make me feel a bit better.) Then, just a little while ago, I had a brain wave and decided to make a yoga-mat bag for myself, since I will be BARTing to a yoga workshop on Sunday. I chose fabrics, decided on the measurements, and cut out all the pieces. This was immensely cheering, and now I’m ready to go to bed.

Long day tomorrow. We’re taking our car in for service at 8 AM, then I’m BARTing to Kimber’s yoga class, then we’re hanging out in Berkeley until the car’s done, which could be anytime. In the evening I’m going to the Bollywood Fusion dance class again, this time with Bright and maybe Caroline. So we’re potentially out all day, and I’m going to have to bring portable work, and I have no idea what to bring.