The good, the surprisingly not-so-bad, and the ugly

The good:
Yesterday I was at Saul’s in Berkeley, and after my meal I thought I’d go up to the counter and get some cookies to bring back to my family. The girl was putting them in a bag, when our waitress came up and said, “I have been wanting to tell you all night, you are SO PRETTY! You have such great — I don’t know — there’s something about you and you’re just so pretty!” Wow!! It caught me off guard of course, and I think she felt a bit embarrassed, because after that we just sort of gabbled at each other for a little bit and then she skittered off, calling behind her, “And I’m not a lesbian either, just so you know!”

Such a sweet nice thing to happen. 🙂 I credit the haircut, and the rosiness I get after walking around in cold weather!

Okay, so: you need to stop reading right now if you are at all squeamish about bodily functions.

The surprisingly not-so-bad:
If we’ve talked lately you know I’ve been having some stomach troubles and have been at a loss as to their cause. I went to the doctor yesterday, and she wants me to avoid dairy and gluten for a while (sigh), and she had me do a bunch of tests… one of which involved me putting some of my poo into little tubes. The instructions were quite specific and I had to find something to poo into that was not the toilet.

Well, it turns out I can very competently squat down and poo into a styrofoam bowl. And put the poo into tubes without getting any of it on anything else. I don’t know why I am so proud of myself for being able to do this, but I am.

The ugly:
After the poo episode, this morning I had to go in for a urine test, and that one didn’t go so well. Maybe I can poo into a bowl, but I cannot pee into a cup! I was dehydrated to begin with, so I had a lot of trouble peeing at all — which is very unusual for me — and then when I finally managed, I got pee all over myself and the floor and the toilet seat.

I can actually remember the last time I peed on myself, and I think I was about five or six. Even then, I remember feeling really humiliated. Today, coming out of the lab, I was so grumpy and irritable and embarrassed… poor Erik had to put up with a lot of complaining. But he did point out helpfully that it’s better to make a pee mess than a poo mess, and it’s true — at least I picked the right test to screw up on!